For the past few months, God has been bringing many things to the surface that had me thinking about changes. Heart changes, mind changes, but also physical location changes. As I somewhat alluded to in
this post, I had come to a place where I was extremely discontent. I longed to be "doing something else,
somewhere else". Many weeks I would cry to Brian (complain) about my situation. My heart desired to be at home with him and Charlie and surrounded by our friends and at least closer to our families. On the weekends, I soaked up every single second, but I rarely felt caught up and relaxed because I was exuding so much energy trying to fit everything in.
my babes and I
Now, let me back up for a quick moment if you're just joining the story here. For about a year, I have been traveling for my job (which is consulting for a Big 4 firm, helping implement finance IT solutions). At first, I didn't mind the travel. When I first arrived to the hotel, either Sunday night or Monday morning, I would carefully put away my clothes in the dresser, iron and hang up any dresses / pants, and put my toiletries on the counter in the bathroom. I would workout every few days, and started building up a routine of places I would go to eat. About 3-4 months in, something shifted. I started dreading going. Now, don't get me wrong I
loved my client. They were probably the best client I've had. I made great friends, and they truly appreciated my work. Best ever. Traveling really wasn't even that bad. It was simply my heart's position and
wanting something different than I had (or needed).
one of my frequent hotels and all the goodies I brought home
One morning in church, our pastor was talking about becoming at peace with where we are in our lives, serving our heart out, for God's glory (not our own). I had been living months on my own agenda. Trying to find a place for "Sam" to fit into the world. What I kept forgetting, was that I am not always supposed to be comfortable. That morning, as I fell on my knees, and later stood to my feet in agreement with our pastor, I was affirmed in my heart that I needed to find
contentment where I was. I also felt very strongly in my spirit that as I found a place of contentment, God would call me out of it (more on this later).
The next few months, I prayed for peace. I prayed for a release of selfishness, and a renewed selflessness. I stopped living on my own agenda, and tried seeing my time out there as an opportunity. Ha! Tell me that last June, and I would have laughed. But, no. God sets up every moment as an opportunity. An opportunity to bless people, to develop relationships, and for me - an opportunity to be refined. My heart, mind and even body (guys, I gained 10 lbs. traveling, gross..) all needed to be refreshed. I began submitting my will to be God's will. Now, I didn't have everything perfect, but I sought each day to find joy, to be content and even happy. I do believe we can find happiness in most situations when we are in God's will.
Fast forward a few months to November. Our friends, the campus leads of youth/young adult at our church had a young adult event at their home. Through a series of moments and encounters only God could have orchestrated, I met numerous people that all worked for the same company. In fact, over the previous few months, he had woven different meetings with different people that all worked for this company. While I had no desire to leave the firm I was working, there was this clear joy and yearning I felt when others shared stories of their job. I heard of how much they loved it, their mission to help others become healthier and live better lives, how their CEO and President both love the Lord and instill these values in the company. So I began to pray about a potential opportunity there. I had no idea what it would look like. I know where I'm qualified, and where I'm not, but I simply did not know what the needs were and where I would fit in.
Through a turn of events, my resume landed on the CEO's desk and he requested an interview. Many hours of interviewing later, I was offered a job (hooray!). Now, I was pretty sure I was meant to take it, but I still sought discernment and wisdom. Brian and I gathered up some prayer warriors and asked them to pray that the Lord would give us guidance. Our church family started reading a book, the Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, and the timing of this lined up perfectly with all of these circumstances. Through promptings in the book, and a nudge in my Spirit, I felt called to pray on my knees, no matter where I was, every morning and every night until I had a decision. For about a week, every morning and night, I was on my knees, seeking His face. Then it came. Peace. A peace that I've only been so fortunate to receive on a few special occasions. Peace that I needed as I told my current company I would be leaving. Peace that has given me an eternal excitement that I am in God's will and following His path for my life. Now here's the kicker. As I was drafting my farewell email, I was saddened that I would be leaving. I was surprised, but then I realized the promise the Lord had shared with me on that one Sunday. That once I was content, he would call me out of it. What a good God we serve :-)
a cake the client bought for my last day and me with Brian's goofy Patagonia bag
